Be A Witch!

My mother wrote this awesome parody and while she does mention a camera phone at the end she really is not that tech-savvy and doesn't have her own blog. So, I have taken it upon myself to post it here for her because it is too wonderful not to share.  I've added a picture of the two of us as witches from last Halloween as a bonus!

 

Be a Witch

With apologies to Cole Porter

I’ll remember forever my girl, who was three,

Asking me in October, “Mother what shall I be?”

I said “Dear there’s no need to get into a stew,

If you want what is best, there’s just one thing to do:

Be a witch, be a witch,

On Halloween they love a witch

Ride a broom with a cat,

Strike a friendship with a black bat,

Turn a prince to a toad,

Serve some children up a la mode,

If you become a ghost then you’ll remain out of sight,

If you be come a vampire then you’ll have a bad bite,

But on Halloween a witch is always queen of the night.

Be a witch, be a witch, be a witch.

Be a witch, be a witch,

On Halloween they love a witch

Give ‘em tricks, give ‘em frights

And your fame will soar to new heights.

How they’ll cheer and they’ll yell

When they see you cast a new spell.

A werewolf’s just a hairy dog all covered in drool,

A zombie or a ghoul is just a mindless old fool,

But everybody knows a witch is coolest of cool.

Be a witch, be a witch, be a witch.

Be a witch, be a witch,

On Halloween they love a witch

Chant a curse, stir a pot,

Knock ‘em dead with a wicked new plot.

Eye of newt, toe of frog

Is a recipe for great grog.

If you become a princess then you’ll just be too cute,

If you become a pirateyou’ll be stuck with your loot,

But give ‘em poisoned apples and they’ll think you’re a hoot.

Be a witch, be a witch, be a witch.

Be a witch, be a witch,

On Halloween they love a witch

Dress a mummy in wraps

Hang some webby, spidery traps.

Then they’ll go “raven” mad

With your “maleficent” beastie pad.

They all know that a skeleton’s a bag of old bone3s

And the Phantom of the Opera’s just moans and some groans

But they take “pic-chas” of the witches with their camera cell phones.

Be a witch, be a witch, be a witch. 

Happy Halloween!

Thirteenth Child review

Book Talk: Everyone knows that a seventh son is lucky, and a seventh son of a seventh son is luckiest of all.  Perhaps that's why Eff's seventh son father was determined enough to get a seventh son to risk having a thirteenth child.  Thirteenth children bring bad luck to everything they touch and are doomed to turn evil one day.  So while everyone dotes on her twin brother, her cousins blame her, the unlucky thirteenth child, for everything bad that happens.  When her uncle goes so far as to show up with the sheriff one day, demanding he lock Eff away, her family decides to move out west to the frontier to escape her small-minded relatives. Eff's father takes a job as a professor of magic at a college worryingly close to the magical divide that keeps all the dangerous creatures, magic and natural at bay,  and Eff grows up away from those who know how unlucky she is.  But can she outrun her destiny, or is she doomed to turn evil?  By learning magic like a normal kid, is she endangering everyone she loves? 

Rocks My Socks:  Who doesn't love exploring the nature of will versus destiny?  And what more exciting place to explore that issue than an alternate, magical American frontier?  I've seen a lot of alternate history books inserting magic into European time-lines, and a lot of modern urban American fantasy, but this is the first book I can recall seeing that re-tells the story of westward expansion with magic.    Eff makes a strong female lead as well and even though the narrative covers until she reaches eighteen she never wastes time on romance, which is a pretty rare thing in novels.  The whole world is fascinating and well-thought out with a good balance of familiarity and strangeness and nice touches like the Rationalists who refuse both magic and religion.

Rocks In My Socks: They make a point of convincing Eff in the book that birth order doesn't mean anything and her being thirteenth born doesn't make her unlucky, but then it's obvious that birth order does matter for her double seventh brother who has advanced magical abilities and luck and gets sent to a special school by the same parents who insist birth order doesn't matter to Eff.  He's presented as a sympathetic character in the book, but I still wish he ended up having more of a difficult time of it.

Every Book its Reader: The narrative starts when eff is five, so I suppose it could be relatable for younger children, but as most of the story takes place in her teens I'd recommend it to teens and adults who enjoy magic and history, especially those who enjoy strong female leads.

This Book is Not Good For You Review

****Warning: This review contains spoilers for the previous books in the series****

Book Talk: Cass and Max-Ernest are up against their deadliest enemy yet: chocolate!  But not just any chocolate (regular chocolate is only dangerous to Max-Ernest with his allergies) this chocolate is so pure and strong that it can send you back in time--and it can only be made with a tuning fork, but not a regular, musical tuning fork, an ancient Aztec magic device that has been brought to Africa, or is it Central America, and well, maybe you shouldn't read this book anyways, after all it's certainly not good for you.


Rocks My Socks: What's not to love about chocolate!?  On a more serious note Cass and Max-Ernest really get a chance to grow in this novel and explore who they are with Cass coming to terms with her adoption and Max-Ernest re-evaluating his identity.  The continued sense of rivalry between Max-Ernest and Yo-Yoji is an amusing undertone as well, although not prominent enough to be distracting.  Speaking of Yo-Yoji let's just say I got a chance to practice my Japanese a bit in this novel, and let's also strongly hint that he may or may not act like a samurai in a pleasing and hilarious fashion (I guess I'm no better at keeping a secret than our notorious narrator.)

Rocks In My Socks: I don't really like what bosch did with Max-Ernest's parents in this book.  The portrayal of the principal also rubbed me the wrong way a bit.  Presenting her as strict and annoying is one thing, but it goes a bit far for me in this book.  As an elementary school employee though I am admittedly biased in this regard.

Every Book Its Reader: Fans of the last two books will love this third installment in the series.  They'll also appreciate the chocolate recipes in the back.

Midnight Magic review

Book Talk: Ever since Fabrizio's master was tried for witchcraft he and his wife have been prisoners in their home.  The other servants have left them, but they are like a mother and father to Fabrizio and he longs to restore his master's position.  So, he turns to his master's old tarot deck and turns up: the magician, the servant, the castello, the king, the ghost, the princess, the tutor, the queen, and finally: death.  His master may insist that all his magic is illusion and reason always triumphs, but sure enough a summons to the castle soon arrives.  There the king orders Fabrizio's master to get rid of the ghost that is haunting his daughter, the princess.  The only trouble is that the magician doesn't believe in ghosts at all.  How can Fabrizio prevent the final card from coming true when the relationships between the people in the castle are just as confusing and misleading as the halls that they live in?  If he succeeds it could mean wealth and power for his master once more, but if he fails it may mean both their heads.

Rocks My Socks: I enjoyed the contradictions in the novel, like the fact that the magician in the story is one of the few characters who doesn't believe in ghosts.  Or that the servant is the one who seems to have the most power in the plot (a la Moliere).  Any novel set in a castle with secret corridors and ghosts is also always a crowd-pleaser.

Rocks In My Socks: The servant and his master have a habit of arguing in cliches that's amusing at first but got on my nerves before long.  The characters are also all pretty stock which leads to a plot that's pretty predictable.

Every Book its Reader: Ages 9-12 fans of historical fiction and magic.  It's probably a bit too basic to be enjoyed by older teens and adults.

If You're Reading This It's Too Late

Book Talk: As the newest members of the Terces Society, Max-Ernest and Cass have real troubles to worry about: Ms. Mauvais and Dr. L are still out there, along with the rest of the Midnight Sun, and they must protect the secret from them.  But having real troubles doesn't stop Cass from worrying about imaginary ones as well, like these nightmares that she's been having, nightmares about a strange creature and  a haunting song.  Soon she has plenty to worry about though, secret meetings, mysterious acoustic devices, cannibals, and a new kid at school following her and Max-Ernest around making it very hard for them to keep their secret.  It's important they keep their secret safe, after all anyone who knows their secret is in danger, even you, but if you're reading this, then it's probably already too late!

Rocks My Socks:  This book has more codes and mysteries to unravel, more impossible-to-believe twists, and more hijinks from a nervous and unreliable narrator (the chapters are numbered backwards this time around).  I also like the new character, Yo-Yoji who just came back from spending a year in Japan where he had his own rock band and developed his sneaker collection.  The book also includes a homunculus which is a thoroughly under-used fantasy creature, and a fool, which while fairly popular is still a favorite of mine. 

Rocks in My Socks: Much the same as in the previous books, the far-fetched scenarios and gimicks can feel a bit much at times, but if you enjoyed them in the first book, you'll enjoy them in the sequel.

Every Book its Reader: I'd recommend this to those who enjoyed the first book, there is some recap of the first story but I'd advise reading them in order.  Great for a wide range as it combines elements of comedy, mystery, adventure, and fantasy.

If You're Reading This, it's Too Late by pseudonymous bosch

Sorcery and Cecelia review

Book Talk: Kate's first season in London would have been difficult enough if things had gone smoothly, but the season soon turns from difficult to deadly when she gets caught up in a feud between sorcerers.  Meanwhile her best friend Cecelia is stuck at home and what starts off as an extremely dull season turns sinister when a new girl arrives with trouble trailing right behind her.  As the situation escalates, Cecelia and Kate are told to wait in the drawing rooms and let the sorcerers handle things, but thanks to their letters they know more about the situation than anyone suspects, enough to do something about it themselves! 

Rocks My Socks:  Two words: epistolary novel!  This novel is as true to the letter-writing tradition as you can get, as it actually began as a game between the two authors, each taking on a different persona and writing letters back and forth to each other to amuse themselves.  Thankfully they realized that what they had at the end was a book that others might enjoy as well, so they thought to clean it up and publish it.  You can tell how much they enjoyed writing it and that sense of light-hearted amusement leaps from the pages to the reader.  I also love the setting, an alternate early 19th century London where magic exists.  Similar to Johnathan Strange and Mr. Norrell, which I also loved, but not as dense.  There was a Jane Austen feel to it for me with two strong young women discussing their prospects and their dresses and their balls.  Magic, adventure, romance, intrigue, fashion, strong female characters, letters, sass, this book has everything that I love.

Rocks In My Socks: The book was pretty frivolous, which normally annoys me but in this case it was just so much fun that I didn't care.  Kate could have been a bit more assertive, and the storyline was pretty predictable, but I was enjoying myself too much while I was reading it to be very critical.

Every Book its Reader:  There's nothing in this that's really inappropriate, but seeing as the girls are discussing marriage and the like it will probably be easier to relate to for teens and above.  The story has a fair amount of adventure, but it also spends a fair amount of time discussing what color best suits each girl.  There are some boys who would be interested in that, but I wouldn't recommend it to just any boy looking for an adventure fantasy.  If you need a pick-me-up or just want to spend an delightful afternoon in a world of magic and wit this is a great book for you!

Sorcery and Cecelia by Patricia C. Wrede. and Caroline Stevermer

Masterpiece Review

Book Talk: Marvin lives with his family underneath the kitchen sink.  He may be a beetle, but he doesn't let that hold him back: he longs to go exploring and has even taught himself how to swim.  Life as a beetle can be dangerous, though, and he and his family have to make sure that the family who lives in the apartment doesn't discover them or they may be exterminated.  Marvin is determined to present the boy of the family, James, with a proper birthday present, however.  So, after James goes to sleep Marvin uses the ink set James' dad gave him to draw James an exquisite picture.  This leads Marvin to do the unthinkable and show himself to a human, but instead of squashing Marvin, James befriends him.  That doesn't mean that they're out of trouble, though.  When Marvin's parents see the painting, they think he drew it, and eventually this small deception turns into a plot to catch a thief that endangers both of their lives.

Rocks My Socks:  I love that the story is told from the perspective of a beetle.  It's a fun and unique perspective that you don't see that often.  I'm also always a sucker for stories that glorify the little guy because I can readily identify with them.  James doesn't have a typical home life: his parents are divorced and his mother has re-married and had another child, and the relationship between them isn't always smooth.  It's good to read stories about non-traditional families.  The plot of the art theft is engrossing and fascinating.  My favorite part of the story, though, was the relationship between James and Marvin.  It's heart-warming without being saccharine and leads them both to grow and discover new things about themselves, as all great friendships do.

Rocks In My Socks: The book is billed as a mystery, but I don't think that the mystery is really the central plot element.  The mystery does pick up a bit towards the end and lead to some more fast-paced action, but if anything this made the book feel a bit uneven to me.  The human adults also seemed a bit unrealistic to me and suffer from the popular juvenile fiction sickness of Useless Adult Syndrome to some degree. 

Every Book Its Reader: Ages 8 and up.  Both the main characters are boys, but the book is pretty gender neutral.  Great fun for any gender or age!  I think it would make a great read-aloud for a class.  I would especially recommend it to anyone with an interest in the art world, but really this kind of light-hearted adventure could be enjoyed by anyone. 

Masterpiece by Elise Broach